Color me a dreamer, and a hopeless romantic if you will.
But today was the best day I've had in a long while. Why is this? Well...today I got a whole heaping truckload of male attention and affirmation. And while I try to tell myself that I really don't care what the guys think, that is a load of nonsense. Of course I care! One day I'll go on my femininity rant and tell you guys exactly why most (if not all) girls care what guys think.
But that is a story for another time. Right now, I want to tell you about my day! :)
So, it started out as a normal day, and proceeded to be dull, drone, and relatively boring until my Creation Studies class. I pulled out my phone to check the time, and lo and behold, I had two texts from some guy I didn't know who claimed to be a friend of my cousin. Well...I text her, and I demand an explanation. Apparently, this guy is a good guy, who she thinks I'll get along with.
In girl talk, that means that my cuz is trying to set me up with this guy.
No other way to translate that. It is what it is, yo. Anyway, I'm not too keen on this idea, because I don't really trust my cousin's taste in guys. Add to that the fact that one of my pet peeves is being set up with people I don't pick out myself. But...I'm feeling adventurous, so I decide to give the guy a chance, make it clear that I don't want a relationship at this point, yadda yadda yadda. All of which I did. But here's the thing. For the first time since...I dunno, maybe five or six months ago, a guy told me goodnight. Geez, I'm so lame. See, for some odd reason, that makes me go all mushy inside.
Now don't get me wrong. I'm still a solid fortress, impervious to the charms and wiles of boys. I know better, mkay? I looked at this objectively, and this guy is most likely not right for me. He's no Prince Charming...and I'm really not all that interested. I'm trying not to string him along, and I'm hoping that he, like myself, really just wants a friend.
Anyway, it just makes me feel special that he said goodnight to me. Doesn't change the facts.
But that's not all that happened today. An old friend took the time to chat with me, reconnect, and brighten my day significantly. To him I owe more than he knows, and my confidence was surely boosted by his zany antics. It made me really miss all my guy friends...and made me determine to accost them the next time I get a chance, so I can see what they've been up to. I think that maybe people hold a more favorable opinion of me than I realize, and that my being shy and sensitive and hesitant to reach out to people may in fact be one of the more ridiculous aspects of my personality. Meh, but we'll have to see what comes of this.
Basically, I'm just ridiculously happy because I feel like I'm wanted. Which, according to the Elridge's (I'm reading Captivating right now), is one of the basic needs of women. In that aspect, I feel so content right now. I feel pursued, beautiful, alluring...all the wonderful things that women are supposed to feel. And it's all because two people took time out of their day to make an impact on mine.
SO. That being said, think about the impact we have in the lives of others. How many lives are you affecting? We brush against people all the time, especially if you're like me and living on a campus somewhere. Wouldn't it be amazing if we could give people what they most desperately need? Then they would feel fulfilled and satisfied, and would in turn go out and positively affect others. Believe me, this is a feeling that I feel like I have to share.
(This last paragraph was written with the assumption that one cannot be truly fulfilled unless one knows Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior.)
Anyway...it's late, and I should really head off to bed. I just wanted to document this amazing, awesome emotion...for further reference, I suppose. I know I'll have a down day where I may need some encouragement, and need to remember what this feels like.
Till my next blog...
Saturday, February 21, 2009
So, in case you haven't noticed, those last few blog entries were for my COMS 220 class...which I miss so much. I had a ball in that class. Anyway, the point is, I'm going to be using this blog for its intended use: chatting about my "feelings" and whatnot. Which I know you're SO thrilled about, but hey, if you don't like it, get out of my blog. That's why it's here and not Facebook or Myspace. This right here is MY place, to put whatever the heck I want. And no one will be getting little notes on Facebook saying "Hey! Katie made another Notes post!" If you're reading this, then it's because you're genuinely interested, and you want to know more about me, not because you got some silly little indication on a social networking site.
Because of this, I will be much more frank about what's going on inside my head. And you're just going to have to deal with that. If you can't handle the unfiltered, unadulterated Katie, then...like I said, get out of my blog. I won't be mad with you if you never read this. Likewise, don't get mad if you see something here that "offends" you. I don't mean anything on here in a hurtful way, but...I'm not going out of my way to be politically correct or make everyone happy or any of that nonsense. This blog is for EMOTIONAL VENTING. Yes, I said it. I'm going to be venting on this blog. If you can't handle it...well, you get my drift. Sometimes I'll be full to bursting with happy/bubbly thoughts, and sometimes I won't. Sometimes, like right now (in case you haven't noticed) I'm going to be frustrated, agitated, irritated, angry, and ready to start flinging sharp objects at certain people who work my nerves! It's me, 100%. All sides, all factions, every last part of me. I'm not hiding anything on here.
Writing is theraputic for me. I calm down after getting my thoughts out, pouring out my emotions. I used to joke that people got to know me through my various emotional outbursts. Now that I'm old and cynical enough to realize that no one really appreciates my emotional explosions, I'm going to contain them to this blog. (and yes, I do sometimes think that people don't appreciate any aspect of me and just want me to go crawl into a hole somewhere. But that's a whole 'nother blog in itself.)
Anyway, if you know me, you know I'm always writing something. It varies what I write, but...all the time, I'm doing something with words. I've written poetry (which I may be posting here, actually), short stories, journal entries (which will probably remain private), devotionals, prayers, RP entries, etc. Hopefully I'll be writing more, as the more I write, the saner I become.
Well, now that I've gotten all that out...I can get on to the fun stuff! Actually talking about what's going on in my life. Now, if you've read to this point, you either love me (yay!) or you have waaaay too much time on your hands. Hmm, lesse. What can I tell you about what's happening? Oh! I know. So, I get to go home next weekend! I am SO excited about being able to see everyone again...being up here at college alone and fundless is starting to get stressful. I keep hoping that one of my applications will turn up a job interview...but so far no luck. I'm going tomorrow to put in more apps. Anyway, I'm so glad to be able to go see my family. I really miss them, and I know that they miss me!
Even further in the future....only 2 weeks from now...I will be going to Israel over spring break. I'm excited, afraid, nervous, and jittery! I've never flown internationally before, so I really don't know what to expect. (Coincidentally, Israel is the reason I'm flat broke this semester.) I'm gonna have a lot of fun, and I'm really excited about it. I'm taking loads of pictures, so don't worry! You'll get to see what happens to me in Israel. There is a bit of risk with traveling to Israel (or anywhere really), so prayers of safety are greatly appreciated. I'm not really worried about the safety aspect of the trip, because I am 100% sure that God wants me to go on this trip, and He'll keep me safe (if it's His will). Since this is God's plan and not mine, I know that whatever happens will be for His glory...and if that's so, then I really don't have anything to worry about. Besides, God says not to worry. :)
What else can I tell you... Well, I'm no longer a Journalism major. I switched over to English...and I'm slightly nervous about the switch. A lot of people write off English as a major that isn't good for much. And no, it's not a specialized major. But it is very flexible, and can be used for a great many different career paths. I'm going to be a Journalism minor, so it'll be slightly more concentrated. I realized last semester that I love my English classes, and I love the literature (although Faerie Queen made my mind ache, I do -not- love old english) more than I love Journalism...which entails a bunch of rules and procedures and little creativitiy in regards to writing style. I am not passionate about events that occur, or breaking news, or anything of that nature, so Journalism was beginning to look like a poor fit. However, you give me a book of good fiction...I'll be reading until I fall asleep on it's pages. If I could spend my whole life reading literature, I would. So, I switched my major to English. Only time will tell if I made the best decision.
Also new in my life is the fact that I'm trying out for the leadership position of Prayer Leader. I'm nervous and apprehensive because I have no clue how I'm going to lead a group of talented and beautiful women in Bible Study. No one back home seems too surprised. I love that I have such an awesome support group in my family. However...I think I rather surprised people here. Which just goes to show that they don't know me nearly as well as they think they do. I'm a very deep, complex person, so...I guess maybe I should work harder at showing the other sides of my personality. Right now, I kind of show the stressed out side of my personality mostly.
Well...I think that's everything for now. Uh...and this is a ridiculously long entry, so thanks for reading this far! Peace out.