Grief

I've been thinking a lot lately about death. Not because I'm suicidal or depressed. But I'm being confronted with the very real possibility of someone I know dying.

I haven't ever really had to deal with the death of a loved one, and now that it's a possibility, I really don't know how I feel. I don't want to have to deal with this. I don't want this. I'm angry and sad...and I'm not even the one dying. I feel like I don't deserve to be angry or sad because I'm not the one directly affected. I'm not sick.

But that doesn't change how emotionally crushed I am. I really don't know how to deal. And I probably will never know how to deal.

Maybe that's okay.

Gloss it Up

No matter how much shine you put on yourself, you will always know what you really look/act/think like.

Maybe instead of plastering ourselves with shiny cosmetics, us gals should work on what really matters--who we are on the inside.

I am frustrated that I am beginning to buy into the idea that to be happy, I have to do myself up. I'm beautiful inside and out, and I shouldn't feel like I have to paint myself to find happiness. How silly is that?

It's like me saying to you: Go roll in some acrylic rainbow paint and you'll find happiness. Uh...actually, that sounds like a lot of fun...

Anyway, bottom line: Make-up is fun. If you do it for fun, then congratulations. If, however, you do it because you think you have to wear it to be beautiful...then you should know that makeup does not create beauty. You do that every time you're nice to someone, or flash a smile.

Beauty is way more than skin deep. Anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is just shallow...and probably miserable themselves.

I Need a Vacation

I'm pulling eyeteeth to graduate (sort of) on time. At the end of all this, I'm going somewhere. I don't know where, but I'm going on vacation.

I want to go to Orlando and visit Islands of Adventure to see the new Harry Potter island. But that probably won't happen. Sadness. But I am definitely going someplace. I have put in so much work and effort lately and I really think that should be rewarded, even if it's only with a trip to the beach for a day.