Waiting

The most agonizing thing to be doing is waiting for something to happen. Either you want it to happen, are dreading it, or aren't sure what's going to happen, but the anticipation just kills you.

It's the waiting that I don't like. I'm waiting to go to a meeting right now, a meeting that could affect my future in a pretty big way. I'm unbelievably nervous. But I know that once I'm in there it won't seem so bad, and that after it's over I'll be glad I went.

And so I wait, as impatiently as ever. Just...waiting for what is to come.

Why You Should Be Nice to English Majors

When this semester is over,I will have written over sixty pages worth of type. Oh my lanta.

My to-do list for the next week and a half:

Finish 8 page essay (Shakespeare-Henry IV parts 1 and 2, and Henry V)

Write 10-page essay (Little Women combo with The Blithedale Romance)

Write 8 page essay (Worldview of Dreiser-Sister Carrie)

Write 4 page essay (Latino Lit-The Fringe World)

Write 8 page essay (Shakespeare-The Merchant of Venice)

I will be feeling very triumphant once this is all over.

Thanksgiving

My family is loud.

Ridiculously so.

My sleep is deprived, my work is unwritten, and my nerves are frazzled. Piano banging (for it can't be called music) is crashing against my ears amidst the off-tune singing of a two-year-old. My brother blaring his guitar amp. My sister exclaiming in glee at the Macy's Day Thanksgiving Parade. My mom baking her Sweet Potato Casserole.

But even though I have been highly unproductive, my work is way behind, and I'm not going to sleep for the next two nights, there is no where else I'd rather be than here. Even though I get annoyed with my family sometimes, this is where I belong. This is where I am loved and understood.

I love my family and I'm thankful for them every day.

PRO-crastination

I'm a horrible procrastinator. I should be writing a 20-page paper right now. I really, really should be.

But at least the good thing about procrastinating is that I usually do fun things instead of the thing I'm dreading. Lots of happiness followed by a period of heightened stress.

It all works out in the end....right?

Why I Get Nothing Accomplished

"I've got a really short attention span."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. It's bad 'cause...

..... ..... ..... ..... .....

Hey, look, a bus!"

Hiatus-y Again

It's been over a week and I haven't posted. Dang it.

The funny thing is that I've had so much I wanted to write about, but every time I tried, I was always pulled away by life's responsibilities. I'll get to my backlogged drafts later, I suppose.

I promise, I will tell you about the two-tiered field where I watched two events at once, the NC state fair, and the randomness of my life. But it will have to wait until I am not swamped in schoolwork. Sadness.

I swear, I get so frustrated with the sheer amount of work I have to do. I write so much for so many people, I barely have time to write for myself.

Oh, well. Not much I can do about it. For now, just know that goodness is coming, and that I haven't forgotten about this blog.

High School Daze

If you were to look up my old high school on Google, there would be three things that would pop up in the search bar.

Those would be:

W___ B_____ shooting

W___ B_____ football

W___ B_____ riot

Yessir, those are the three things my alma mater is known for. I graduated in '07. The riot happened two years ago. The shooting happened last year. The football has always been awful, so...uh yeah, no real improvements there. Though they are winning games now. Maybe other schools are scared we're going to shoot them. I heard that one of the girl's teams were at an away game and their opposing team refused to high-five them at the end of the game. I heard that was because the other team was afraid of our girls. Our girls.

My old high school has a really bad reputation right now. It's not that the school is bad, or that the kids are bad. It's not that the teachers aren't good. I swear to you, that school is full of good people. You want to know what I think the deal is? I think that there are a few misguided kids who fell in with the wrong crowd. A few "bad apples" if you will. Gang activity has been rising in the area for the last decade or so. They are very territorial, and are divided into about three main sections of our half of the county. By "our half," I mean the half that attend my old high school. For some reason, the Board of Education decided that it was a good idea to shove all the high schoolers into two high schools. So, whereas there was a high school for each gang's territory before the merger, now there is only one for all of them. Sounds like a bad idea, right? I think so too.

So, what does this mean for the good kids? Well if they keep their noses clean, then they don't have anything to worry about. I was never afraid to go to school. I was never afraid to walk the halls, and I'm not afraid to go back and walk them again if I ever have a reason to return. My brother attends there now. He isn't afraid to go to school there, and I'm not afraid for him either. He's a good kid. He'll be fine. There are way more good kids than bad ones at that school. Let's not forget about them.

They recently hired a no-nonsense principal who is doing his best to clean up the school. It's true that not everyone is happy about his "improvements," but no matter what you do there will be people who disapprove. What I disapprove of is all the Facebook status updates and comments saying how they're scared to send their kids to W___ B_____, and how the kids are scared, and how everyone's just this quivering ball of terror. False. I know loads of people who attend/have recently attended who are not afraid. I know parents who are not afraid. Fear will not solve anything.

Do me a favor? Quit being scared and start teaching your kids to stay out of trouble. Tell them to avoid the kids always doing something stupid. Here's the thing. If your kid gets in with the gang bangers, there's going to be trouble.

Yes, I'm concerned just like everyone else. But I am not afraid, nor will I ever be. Fear will not solve anything. Action will.