I just received an apology from someone, one that didn't sound heartfelt at all. Said person then turned around and implied that I apologize on the spot, which is a problem since I don't think I have anything to apologize for. I'm not in the habit of putting my personal issues out there on the interwebz, so I won't go into detail. But I have to ask. Should I apologize for things that aren't my fault? This new development of non-heartfelt apology is disturbing to me. I feel like I -should- apologize, for convention's sake. But I don't think I've done wrong. And I've only been back five hours. Great.
Anyway, the drive back was rather uneventful and filled with the mindless chatter that girls so often fall into. I'm realizing more and more that my views on religion and Christianity are sort of radical, as I tend to challenge typical viewpoints and think outside of the box. Here's an example: I want to keep my "bad" emotions when I get to heaven. That's right. I want to keep my anger and sadness. Why? Because I feel that if you took those emotions away, you're left with hollow, shallow, chipper people. I want to have the capacity for those emotions. Maybe God will prove me otherwise when I get to heaven. But...I don't want to be shallow or hollow, not ever.
On the other hand, if we're unable to hold grudges, then maybe my housemate and I will get along in heaven. Because I've let mine go, but...
I'm tired. This weekend took a lot out of me. Back to the grind tomorrow. I'll miss the sweet fellowship of the LU girls and the Guthrie family. I'll miss the harmony we shared. I hate the tension here. So much. Maybe next year will be different.
Until then, I've got to hold strong. Got to. Because I can't let myself be walked over. I've done nothing wrong.
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